OK,
well...
Poop...
So, I put on 4.5kgs in 13 days in NZ over Christmas.
I know its an Olympic year... but hell I'm angry with myself. I'm back to where I started R3 last year. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Confession:
Whitebait patties (2lb, 4 people), venison, wild pork roast, wild pork kranskys, trout, crayfish, Chatham Island blue cod, Roast lamb, pavlova, baked jam roll, rhubarb crumble, hokey pokey ice-cream, brandy snaps, Mr Whippy, goodie goodie gumdrops, fish and chips, ambrosia, Dixie chicken, meringues, trifle, rissoles, chocolate cake, black jellybeans, milk bottles, pineapple lumps, pickled onions, 3 bottles of Baileys, feijoa vodka (that one was all me), and we've polished off 12 bottles of red wine...
And you know it wasn't 300cal servings...
What on earth is wrong with me? Self sabotage much Rach? Guess what mindset lessons I'm working on this Round.
RachB
:(
Showing posts with label 12wbt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 12wbt. Show all posts
Sunday, 15 January 2012
2012 Goal two - 365 things lighter
Goal Two - Get rid of one thing from my home EVERY day this year.
So I've known for a while I have a genetic predisposition to horde (well we call it 'collect' in the Bos household). I aspire to live in a home where I have what I need, everything has a story or history. and I'm surrounded by things that have a considered place in our lives. Basically I want to stop collecting shit.
I want to start living simply, where I am surrounded by beautiful things. But the beauty is in the considered-ness of the object, and how it enhances our lives.
I have half empty perfume bottles in my bathroom. 8 of them. I don't like the scent, some of them are really old, but I hang onto them. Why? I don't know, just because 'what if'. I don't even want to start on my makeup drawer, study shelves, or the dreaded third drawer down in the kitchen!
So this year I commit to letting go of 365 items from my home. One thing per day. AND, if I bring something in to my home, I have to give something up.
Today I cleansed my book shelves. I brought a kindle the moment they were released in Australia in an international edition. I'm an early adopter, so Sept 26 2009, I got my kindle. (I swear it rates as one of the happiest days of my life!) We had only been in Australia for 9 months, and because of our move I could only bring 15 books with me from NZ. So I haven't really needed to buy a 'paper' edition for quite a while... So today I cleansed 42 books from my shelves. I am leaving 5.
42 objects that clutter my home gone. I have already made $60 selling them on a local sales site. If I don't sell the rest, I'm donating them to the Salvation Army.
(I'm so pleased I started this goal AFTER I brought home the Royal Albert coffee set from NZ)
On another note,
Pre Season starts tomorrow. I've decided this round to play the tasks to my husband and son. I'm going to try to get them to set some goals along side mine this round. A little excited to get started.
RachB
Xxx
Saturday, 14 January 2012
2012 Goal one - Rock the Frock holding a Croc
Back from Rockhampton after a trip to a real Croc Farm. This is something I've wanted to see for ages, so today was really special.
As a total aside, also found where I'd buy a holiday home WHEN I win Lotto (gotta keep up the positive thinking, Its The Secret... sheesh it was on Oprah) Keppel Sands. Total isolation, beach, fishing, quaint (read time warp 50's)
Anywho... back to my Crocs. Actually going to rephrase that, because if there is one thing I can be completely sure about, its that you will NEVER see me wearing those God awful shoe things. Back to the Crocodiles. I'm madly in love. Who'd have thought... now we are going to need serious acreage so I can have my 3 dogs, Persians, goats, peacocks, miniature pigs AND a croc.
So we did the whole tour thing (again loved it, highly recommended day trip) and I was feeling kinda cute today, khaki shorts, grey Tshirt, and a very cute gingham flower brooch. Feeling good...until (insert mandatory Jaws Music)
I see the photo
My reality is seriously messed up. I know I'm heavy (getting close to the heaviest I've ever been again) (8kgs to go, but the scales are moving the wrong way) But I still get a fright when I see the damage Ive done to myself in a photo.
So, in the name of accountability, I'm going to post my Croc pic. Its pretty sad. I don't get in front of the camera often for this very reason.
My promise to me - this is the LAST time this year I'll be this weight. The scales are moving down. I'm going to lose, once and for all, the 20kg that plagues me.
I brought a dress at a (spectacular) sale a few weeks ago ($265 marked down to $25) (YES I KNOW). A motivation dress. Something to aim for. And, just because I'm motivated by grand gestures I've come up with the first of my 5 goals for this year.
As a total aside, also found where I'd buy a holiday home WHEN I win Lotto (gotta keep up the positive thinking, Its The Secret... sheesh it was on Oprah) Keppel Sands. Total isolation, beach, fishing, quaint (read time warp 50's)
Anywho... back to my Crocs. Actually going to rephrase that, because if there is one thing I can be completely sure about, its that you will NEVER see me wearing those God awful shoe things. Back to the Crocodiles. I'm madly in love. Who'd have thought... now we are going to need serious acreage so I can have my 3 dogs, Persians, goats, peacocks, miniature pigs AND a croc.
So we did the whole tour thing (again loved it, highly recommended day trip) and I was feeling kinda cute today, khaki shorts, grey Tshirt, and a very cute gingham flower brooch. Feeling good...until (insert mandatory Jaws Music)
I see the photo
My reality is seriously messed up. I know I'm heavy (getting close to the heaviest I've ever been again) (8kgs to go, but the scales are moving the wrong way) But I still get a fright when I see the damage Ive done to myself in a photo.
So, in the name of accountability, I'm going to post my Croc pic. Its pretty sad. I don't get in front of the camera often for this very reason.
My promise to me - this is the LAST time this year I'll be this weight. The scales are moving down. I'm going to lose, once and for all, the 20kg that plagues me.
I brought a dress at a (spectacular) sale a few weeks ago ($265 marked down to $25) (YES I KNOW). A motivation dress. Something to aim for. And, just because I'm motivated by grand gestures I've come up with the first of my 5 goals for this year.
2012 Goal One
By the end of 2012, I'm going to Rock my Frock holding a Croc.
Yep, I'm getting into this dress, and I'm going back to have my photo taken with a Croc wearing my Frock. Then, I'm posting the before and after photos.
Bring. It. On.
RachB
xxx
Thursday, 12 January 2012
Hey Rachel - CATCH
You know when some one fakes a pass, and you always flinch? Well I've just realised I pretty much feel like that ALL the time. I'm ready for the hammer to fall, the sword to drop, the presenter to jump out and yell Candid Camera
It's funny, people don't perceive me to be insecure. Quite the opposite in fact. I've an excellent game face.
Maybe I just don't know how to be happy and contented. I have this underlying belief that I just don't deserve it. On paper I've had a rough start to my adult life, but then who really looks back and goes *sigh* life was just so damn easy at 18. After a rough patch in my 20s the last 10 years things have fallen into place, and I just can't help but think I just don't deserve it.
I'm riddled with guilt over things I did when I was at school, my 1st major relationship, the break down of my 1st marriage, my parenting, moving my son SO many times. Hell, stupid I know, but I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes, and just sweat over things I've done that people could've read wrong. (I'm telling you now, I'd have made a shit criminal) I'm always watching my step, terrified I'll not know the dance.
And now I'm settled I feel unsettled. Like I shouldn't deserve this. I think I suffer from the grass is always greener syndrome. I need to start to feel comfortable in my own skin, and start to forgive myself for decisions I made when I was young and dumb!
So what is going to make me feel comfortable in my skin? I've mentioned forgiveness, that's going to be a huge one for me.
Losing weight? I'm going to do it anyway, but I just don't know if weight loss is the magic cure. Eegh, bugger it, I'm honest enough to admit to being shallow enough to WANT to rock my work party in a kickass frock.
I want to parent better. My son is 11, and I'll never be accused of helicopter parenting. (even though I HATE letting him grow up). Sometimes I look at him and a stranger looks back. I'm terrified how fast he is becoming a man. Mostly I'm terrified if I've done enough to make sure he gets to manhood safetly.
So, the 12wbt, round 1, 2012 preseason starts on Monday. I've got some searching to do before then, because this round, I want to set real goals. Goals that will change me and my family for the better. Mostly I want to be rid of the guilt always on edge feeling.
I need some confidence.
RachB
P.S I'm not catholic, though I seriously would've made a good one.
It's funny, people don't perceive me to be insecure. Quite the opposite in fact. I've an excellent game face.
Maybe I just don't know how to be happy and contented. I have this underlying belief that I just don't deserve it. On paper I've had a rough start to my adult life, but then who really looks back and goes *sigh* life was just so damn easy at 18. After a rough patch in my 20s the last 10 years things have fallen into place, and I just can't help but think I just don't deserve it.
I'm riddled with guilt over things I did when I was at school, my 1st major relationship, the break down of my 1st marriage, my parenting, moving my son SO many times. Hell, stupid I know, but I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes, and just sweat over things I've done that people could've read wrong. (I'm telling you now, I'd have made a shit criminal) I'm always watching my step, terrified I'll not know the dance.
And now I'm settled I feel unsettled. Like I shouldn't deserve this. I think I suffer from the grass is always greener syndrome. I need to start to feel comfortable in my own skin, and start to forgive myself for decisions I made when I was young and dumb!
So what is going to make me feel comfortable in my skin? I've mentioned forgiveness, that's going to be a huge one for me.
Losing weight? I'm going to do it anyway, but I just don't know if weight loss is the magic cure. Eegh, bugger it, I'm honest enough to admit to being shallow enough to WANT to rock my work party in a kickass frock.
I want to parent better. My son is 11, and I'll never be accused of helicopter parenting. (even though I HATE letting him grow up). Sometimes I look at him and a stranger looks back. I'm terrified how fast he is becoming a man. Mostly I'm terrified if I've done enough to make sure he gets to manhood safetly.
So, the 12wbt, round 1, 2012 preseason starts on Monday. I've got some searching to do before then, because this round, I want to set real goals. Goals that will change me and my family for the better. Mostly I want to be rid of the guilt always on edge feeling.
I need some confidence.
RachB
P.S I'm not catholic, though I seriously would've made a good one.
The rules of Kerfuffle
So this year is about me.
Doesn't that sound like a prat, wankerish, full of myself statement!
I'm not usually a navel gazer, I'm not very zen. I tried yoga once, loved the class, thought I could really get into it, but like most things... Meh
So this year, at the risk of sounding like a total nong - I'm going to do stuff for me. Some big stuff, like losing weight, getting fit, cutting down. On. The. Alcohol... (yep that was hard to type). Becoming more financially 'adult', being a better wife and mother. I'm also going to have a go at some smaller more airy fairy stuff too. I want to declutter, find room for a passion, discover what makes me happy. I want to have one of those floaty in a tank experiences!
Mostly I want to commit to something. Anything. And stick to it. Follow through. I think I lack accountability. I want to promise myself I'll do something, and I want to get it done.
The aim of life is appreciation; there is no sense in not appreciating things; and there is no sense in having more of them if you have less appreciation of them.
Cut down, cut back, cut out.
Doesn't that sound like a prat, wankerish, full of myself statement!
I'm not usually a navel gazer, I'm not very zen. I tried yoga once, loved the class, thought I could really get into it, but like most things... Meh
So this year, at the risk of sounding like a total nong - I'm going to do stuff for me. Some big stuff, like losing weight, getting fit, cutting down. On. The. Alcohol... (yep that was hard to type). Becoming more financially 'adult', being a better wife and mother. I'm also going to have a go at some smaller more airy fairy stuff too. I want to declutter, find room for a passion, discover what makes me happy. I want to have one of those floaty in a tank experiences!
Mostly I want to commit to something. Anything. And stick to it. Follow through. I think I lack accountability. I want to promise myself I'll do something, and I want to get it done.
The aim of life is appreciation; there is no sense in not appreciating things; and there is no sense in having more of them if you have less appreciation of them.
Cut down, cut back, cut out.
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